In a week, I've somehow lost 5 pounds by doing absolutely nothing.. I swear, I thought I was going to gain 5 with all the holiday food I've been eating..

Anyways, I was lying on my floor at 2 in the morning, just thinking. I thought very clearly of what I wanted to accomplish and how exactly I will do it. I feel like I have more of a plan now. I'm more relieved because I don't feel so confused with my life.

i missed school today. i'm sitting here a lone in a cold room -- i feel worthless. i didn't need to miss school, but i did just because it was one of those times i just felt really uncomfortable in my own skin.

i won't eat today.

I can't stand this. I wish I could just have the motivation to lose weight. I want to lose 25 lbs --- that's my goal.

I need to get there.